Funny english quotes from IRC, enjoy.
" <dawe02> !rektorn <-- rektorn has quit (EOF From client) --> rektorn (~email@example.com) has joined #kth <jestern> heh <marvin__> !rektorn <Zivster> !rektorn <-- Zivster has kicked rektorn from #kth (!rektorn)" -- bot not being consistent on #kth "--> mandrake8 (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #linux <mandrake8> anyone of you are italian? <ichiiban> none <marvin_> none at all, never <ichiiban> we discriminate italians worse than #unix does <mandrake8> WHAT? <konrads> ?? ciao a <stroop>  ciao: Hi. I'm Italian and I don't give a fuck that everyone here speaks english, so I'm gonna spam you with italian crap. <mandrake8> WHY? <LethalWP> BECAUSE" -- #linux "<ichiban_> chown root.wheel . <ichiban_> and now in the other window :)" -- #linux "<BluesMurf> pants! <BluesMurf> i'll have dinner first <marvin> first dinner then pants? <BluesMurf> chicken wings, french fries & hot ketchup & green peas <BluesMurf> should do nicely <marvin> as pants? <BluesMurf> yup <BluesMurf> if you insist <marvin> I'd like to see that <BluesMurf> in your dreams, pal <marvin> yes" -- #linux " <stany> LethalWP: by the way 'su -' doesn't work <stany> LethalWP: [stany@stany stany]$ su- <stany> bash: su-: command not found <ichiban> stany: try su <SPACE YOU MORON> - <LethalWP> su + su = 2 * su <Mr-Smoke> suČ ? <Mr-Smoke> oh no that's su x su <Mr-Smoke> who is Sue <mrph> Sue not here! <mrph> you have wrong number!" -- #linux " <robat> '8 out of 10 hackers prefer #linux.de' <marvin__> Ich bin ein Hacker unt Ich seht gut aus.... da-dam, da-da-da-da, da-dam (das Model, kraftwerk) <leica> 30 Helens agree; hackers like linux.de <c0ffee> would that hacker/linux.de/.de talk stop know or would you prefer a .tld ban? <fanne> MEIN NAHME IST BILL HACKERMAN * fanne ducks" -- #linux " --- cob is now known as apt-get <marvin__> apt-get update * apt-get hits marvin__ <marvin__> apt-get upgrade * apt-get downloads marvin__ <marvin__> yay! I'm being upgraded! --- apt-get is now known as cob <cob> people will soon abuse me like that" -- #linux " <PortUs> hehe in poland dnses doesnt work yeat :) they have sux isp :) <PortUs> and network <harpaasi> and users <mrph_> serves them right" -- #linux "<speedy> For only 87 cents a day, you can prevent a European child from being raped by Emmanuel..." -- #nyc2600 "<cwiara> AvsenikWi: Please stop bothering me on priv, I don't understand English." -- #linux "<N1GHTMARE> hello <N1GHTMARE> I'm a problem <N1GHTMARE> I'm Italian" -- #linux "<warlock3> i'm just a student, i don't need much: Java, mplayer .... that's all <marvin__> warlock3: I'm just a student. I'm still after world domination <kurmie> and incidently marvin__ is doing a better job at world domination than you are, warlock3!" -- #linux "<spunk> wella! 'evening guys, i need an help with pppoe and openbsd <lca> spunk: what kind of help? <lca> spunk: pppoe works fine on openbsd. thanks for asking. NEXXT!!" -- #openbsd " <sLiKiCa> I m new here <wossname> sLiKiCa: We'd have never guessed. <wossname> What with the PRO nick and everything <sLiKiCa> I d like to know here can I get linux <BluesMurf> sLiKiCa forget it, you're too stupid" -- #linux " <SlayerXP> nother sniper shooting <SlayerXP> i'm in two minds about this <SlayerXP> on one hand, innocent people are being slaughtered <SlayerXP> on the other, they are americans <pollo> innocent americans? <BluesMurf> it's so simple <BluesMurf> give everybody a sniper rifle to protect himself <BluesMurf> problem solved" -- #linux " --> linux2k2 (email@example.com) has joined #linux <SlayerXP> *** CTCP VERSION reply from linux2k2: mIRC v6.01 Khaled Mardam-Bey <linux2k2> hi I have a problem <Koston> linux2k2, you do. now leave. <SlayerXP> linux2k2: you're italian and using windows. that's two." -- #linux "<linux2k2> can anywhere say me about the mbr? <linux2k2> master boot record <SlayerXP> linux: try coherant english <linux2k2> I must delete my mbr <SlayerXP> must you? <SlayerXP> okay, you have our permission to do so." -- #linux " <qrto> swedish is rather alien for me <BluesMurf> just skip the 'bork!' bits, and pretend it's german" -- #linux "<marvin__> loVolt: iscsi (IIRC) is actually like scsi over IP. <Psy-Q> but that's only for posh networks, that <Psy-Q> nothing for the working class like we are <marvin__> Psy-Q: iscsi over slip :P <Psy-Q> marvin__: yeah! that's right! beat those capitalist pigs! <Psy-Q> we can mount drives in less than a week! * marvin__ beats them pigs * Psy-Q hires several angry English mine workers to look threatening in the background" -- #linux "<SlayerXP> mke2fs -m 0 -R stride=8 /dev/md0 <SlayerXP> oops <SlayerXP> this channel isn't my software riad set" -- #linux " <NiKi1> isn't george micheal british ? <BluesMurf> no, he's gay" -- #linux -:- Topic (#somewhere): changed by someone: "8 hours and 53 minutes without a remote hole in the default install!" "SPIERDALAJ is polish for 'please go somewhere else now'" -- Zeb @ #linux "_Asians_On_Freenet_ Naked Asians we assume. If you don't like it, then the author invites you to go shoot yourself." -- Free speech " <clod> is vi better than C ? <mic42> clod, green. <dwd> clod: Only if Emacs is better than Perl. <morphy-> what difference does a crocodile have? it's greener than it swims." " <BULLE> marvin__: i had a horrible conversation with an american yesterday, that lives in my corridor <Ancipital> the conversation lives in your corridor? <Ancipital> it must be scary to see an abstract event achieve sentience <LevelZero> Anci: not as scary as seeing contents of a fridge achieve sentience though" "LOTR spoilers are served on random time intervals" -- topic on #math when LoTR was new " <Sypher> i've got a windows PC and a Linux PC. The linux PC shell become a fileserver. but the linux PC always says 'connection refused' and I don't know why. <SlayerXP> no <SlayerXP> i said 'sypher: try asking your question clearly and concisely' <Sypher> i know <SlayerXP> do we have to guess which protocol/programs you're using? <Sypher> TCP/IP <SlayerXP> oh fuck off. <Sypher> with a cross- cable <SlayerXP> next! <Sypher> why?" -- #linux "<dreeft> how do you view diskspace under linux? <c0ffee> cat /dev/hda | less <dreeft> k <dreeft> thx." "An ENGLISH SPEAKING Linux channel, where we speak ENGLISH. As in ENGLISH." -- #linux topic on ircnet "<BigShot> can anyone help me configure my cable modem using netcfg? <BigShot> thanks <BigShot> i appreciate the help <BigShot> you guys fucking suck <BigShot> i hope you die <BigShot> ha ha ha" ".pl must have heard that .it were trying to outlame them." -- #linux (.pl and .it speak more foreign than english despite topic) " --> MaGaf (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #linux <dobrek> BluesMurf: yeh I know but I am Polish and it is not tru that Polish folks are in general more stupid than the others. <MaGaf> czesc <MaGaf> kto ma DOSEMU?" -- #linux, which at the time had "ENGLISH, speak ENGLISH" or similar " <marvin_> Xi: take two nibbles, create a byte, store, repeat. Load as dword, or whatever <Xi> thanks <tickerx> take two nippels... <Dobo> squeeze gently <Monkiboy> byte, and repeat" "KaTKiller: And just how old are your dogs nuts?" "<schizzi> the closest thing to porn on this computer, is the 'chicks love openbsd' picture. <dork2> www.bsdchicks.com <spuug> Nice T-shirt. <dork2> yup <dork2> my first reaction too. <schizzi> =D <schizzi> was not <dork2> dang... busted." -- IRC "<Dustyn> babe? <helper> (babe): Hot chick. Someone you probably want to take 'upstairs.'" -- #linux " <tmbg> is there a table anywhere of what signals different integers are? (e.g. SIGKILL is 9, I think SIGHUP is 1, what are the others?) <deraadt> Oh come on. <deraadt> I can't believe how inexperienced some irc people are. <deraadt> god damn. <t12> was there ever a time when everyone on IRC was awsome? <QuakeMstr> ya <deraadt> how the hell did you learn to tie your shoelaces?!?! <deraadt> do people ask on irc 'cause their mommies don't know? <t12> alt.shoelaces.faq? <QuakeMstr> hahaha <Temperanc> t12: that would be much to general for usenet <Temperanc> t12: they would have a separate group for tying and knots <t12> alt.shoelaces.tie.overhand.doubleloop.method.faq?" -- #openbsd, Theo De Raadt being his nice self "<cyberops> anyone here using obsd 2.5?" -- #openbsd (at the time 2.5 was the latest version) "* SmooveB aliases reboot to rebewt." "<rabuba> what do i need to do the a sparc 2 to control it via seairal line? <Bleah> Raise your magic sword <Bleah> and say 'By the power of greyskull' <Bleah> then just plug a cable in" -- #solaris "Noone wants to hear your Redhat 6.0 questions today." -- #linux topic